Let's Make Happy Children! part one of three

This article is for parents - fathers and mothers - with tangible evidences on that they know how to raise children. But how many parents know how to raise happy children? (Perhaps it would be more accurate to ask how to raise happy adults.)

Raising children is a difficult task. And raising happy children is even harder! How can we raise our children so that they become successful, happy, balanced, confident, loving, accepting, courageous, and open-minded adults? Because that's the goal of parenting, right?

Many parents seem to think that the goal of parenting is to have obedient children who cause them as little trouble as possible until they finally move out.

This article is for those who don't think that way.

"Give me a child until they are seven years old, and I will give you the adult," said Aristotle. And he was absolutely right. Modern experts put the critical age at around five years old, by which time it's largely determined what kind of adult the child will become.

I'd like you to understand this clearly: by the age of five, it's largely determined what kind of adult your child will become! Happy or unhappy, lucky or unlucky, confident or perpetually uncertain, successful or unsuccessful, winner or loser, loving or cruel, rich or poor…

By the age of five! And if you want to change this, it requires persistent and conscious effort. The older the person, the more effort it takes to change.

So, how do we make happy children?

It's simple! If you want your child to be happy (and become a happy adult), give them everything they need.

I hear you protesting… How can you give them everything?! But you don't need to give them everything, just everything they need to be happy. Do you know how many things a child needs to be happy?

Guess!

Don't guess, I'll tell you: one.

Yes, your child only needs one thing to be happy and grow into a successful adult. If they have this one thing (and they know they have it!), nothing else matters. If they don't have it, nothing else can replace it.

I'll give you a task!

Write down six characteristics you'd like your child to have as an adult! Six characteristics you'd like to be true of your adult child.

Examples: Confidence (I want my child to be a confident adult.). Or entrepreneurial spirit (I want my child to be an entrepreneurial adult.). Or a positive thinking…

When you have the six characteristics, take the first one and think about what a child needs in order to develop that characteristic.

Example: to develop confidence, a child needs to learn his/her abilities and limitations (what they can and can’t do). While they are learning, they make mistakes. Such as “I can take that old Chinese vase from this table to there… Ups, no, I can’t it was too heavy. I dropped it…” So they need to know it is okay to make mistakes.

When you've done this for all six characteristics, take the things you've written down (you may have written the same thing for multiple characteristics, and that's okay!), and think about what your child needs to feel in in a deeper level.

Example: for a child to feel it is okay to make mistakes, they need to know that their parents are always there and will be there for them. In other words, they need to trust their parents unconditionally.

After you've done this, take the things you've written down (again, you may have written the same thing for multiple characteristics), and dig deeper! What's behind these things? What's even more important?

If you do this exercise carefully, you'll eventually be left with one thing that's the foundation and basis of everything.

Email this one thing to me at info@sleeptalk.family!

Before we go any further and I explain how you can give your child the most important thing in just two minutes a day, in the next article I'll explain how children's minds work. You'll understand why it's literally vital what we say to them.

This article is the first part of a three-part series.

I have a dream. A rather selfish dream, I admit, but I like it: I'd like to spend my old age in a happy, loving world. A world led by leaders who are fair, loving, and attentive.

Utopian?

Maybe… But think about it! Who will be the leaders of our world in our old age?

That's right. Our children.

Miklós Gerely

Online & International

Languages:

English, Hungarian

Nicolas Gerely Hungary SleepTalkers InternationalAbout Miklós Gerely.

Trainer, Mentor, Trainer of Trainers.

Nicolas moved back to his native Hungary in 2018, after spending almost 20 years in New Zealand and Australia. During his time away he attained his Clinical Hypnotherapist Diploma from the “Academy of Hypnotic Science”. In 2013 he became a Goulding Method consultant and have been teaching the technique to parents in Hungary, Australia and other countries ever since. A trainer of the method since March 2017, In 2023, he received the Goulding Method Mentor and Trainer certification from Joane Goulding.

Nicolas is located in Hungary and works online Internationally.